A speaker began posting her remarks and opinions with the lead-in of, "I sent him $50...", the implication of which was that she didn't receive what she considered any value for her money. I sent her a private email that said this:

Hey,

If it weren't for the private support I received via NF/Regular email, I would pack it in and let The Call Manager fade away. If I told you how many hours I've spent coding the app and answering emails from speakers and helping them to the best of my ability. I'm not sure you'd believe me. I'm sure there are other people that give that much of their time voluntarily to help others, but I don't think they give it here on NiteFlirt. I could be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time.

I can see how you might think my public rant was 'weird', but what am I supposed to do? I picked three people who were simply lying about their experiences with me. They have a captive audience, and if the time comes when I do something that may interest or benefit many speakers, I don't want there to be an impression that I'm dishonest, unreliable, or that I've taken unfair advantage of anyone. Maybe you think I should sit by silently - and maybe you'd be able to do that - but I feel like I have to respond to accusations that cross the line between 'The program isn't right for me' and 'He's a dishonest guy'.

To anyone who's ever said "I'm going to send you a tribute", I've said, "Please don't - it isn't necessary." I really, really appreciate the money you sent, but if you say, "I sent him $50..." and then go on to say that all of the program's features never really worked for you, it sounds like you're saying that you didn't receive the correct value for something for which you paid. This is exactly why I discourage people from sending money unless they just want to hit the $10 tribute button as a show of appreciation after they know what the program does for them. As you know, you and I exchanged a bunch of emails in an effort to solve whatever issues you were having. I understand that they never were solved, but it wasn't because I didn't try. If you were looking for 'effort' for your $50, I think you received it. If the $50 is a big deal, I'll give it back to you. Whatever the case, please don't use it as a base point for justifying your dissatisfaction with the Call Manager. It makes me look bad, I didn't ask for the money, and I would rather not have it than it be used to misrepresent my actions or intentions.

It should be crystal clear to anyone watching that I'm not doing this for the money. Believe me, there are a bunch of other things that interest me that I could be doing instead of coding The Call Manager and fielding questions from speakers.

I don't feel that we've ever had a contentious relationship, and I don't want one to start now. There have been plenty of things said about me that I've let slide - I can't satisfy everyone, and if a speaker wants to express their views in a way that doesn't disparage me, I won't argue with them. Everyone has a right to their opinion and I respect that.

Take care,

Lee

Some people may disagree, but I think that was a reasonable, private response to a comment she made publicly. I was surprised to receive the following email from here in return (my comments in BOLD ITALICS):

I didn't say that I paid for it and didn't get my money's worth. However, I know that I wasn't the only one to do that and I would have thought that you receiving money as appreciation for a free program you were providing would help motivate you to keep that program functioning. I don't think there's anything wrong with that logic and since I rely on this program, I did what I thought was necessary to ensure that I could keep using it.

(You may not see anything wrong with that logic, but money as a motivator is relative. Some people view $10, $20, or $100 as the difference between eating or going hungry, while others play every position at a blackjack table in Vegas at $5000 per hand for a total of between $25k-$35k per deal. I'm not at either extreme, but $50 is not going to make me get up three hours earlier than normal due to excitement or change my lifestyle in any way. You may have "thought it was necessary to ensure you could keep using it", but counting on the $50 tribute to keep me motivated was an incorrect assumption on your part.)

I do take that into consideration when it stops working for me and then you go MIA for a long time. Yeah, I thought to myself, "Well, that sucks. Guess our appreciation didn't really mean anything to him."

(When you take the $50 "into consideration", you once again place a level of importance on the $50 that never existed. You are also suggesting that I measure "our appreciation" in dollars. A note that says, "Thank you so much for writing the app. It has helped me make some additonal money that I really needed." is more motivating to me than $50. From actual emails that I received yesterday:

"My children depend on me...and I could never thank you enough for all the help you have given me."

"Your program was/is such a benefit to me, and I'm so thankful for it "

"I love your software and it has been a blessing."

"...many of us rely on this software... and SO appreciate you for making it for us! We know you are not obligated to continue it, and that it is free and all, but we do HOPE you continue it. I understand you've gotten a lot of crap from flirts about it but I hope you know that not all of us feel that way or are unappreciative like that."

" I want to tell you please don't let any negativity on the forums get you down.  It is a wonderful program and it is very generous of you to provide it to flirts.  I am saying this because I went to your site and saw you were addressing some of the negative comments.  I personally stay out of all the drama and it saddens me when people say negative things about those who give from themselves a service that can benefit us all."

There were many, many more comments like the above.It's those words of appreciation that motivate me far more than your $50. I'm not sure if any of the above speakers that wrote ever paid me anything or not, but their words mean more than any financial contribution they could have made.)

To be clear though, when I tributed, I don't remember anyone discouraging me from doing so. As I remember it, it was being encouraged all around by a lot of flirts at the time, hoping that if we did so, the program would be resurrected.

(I don't know who encouraged you to tribute me - it wasn't me, though. If money was going to play into my decision to revisit The Call Manager, I would have said so. For example, I might have posted something like, "I would like to revive The Call Manager, but I've caclulated that it's going to take me xxxx number of hours to do so. If there are speakers that are interested and they are willing to pay me $yyyy, I'll be happy to completely redesign and support the application. If speakers don't want to pay me for my time, I'm not going to be able to make the modifications necessary for The Call Manager to work on NiteFlirt's new platforn."

I made no such request. Further, my reply to anyone that offered to tribute me or said, "Things are a little tight right now, but I'll hit you up when I have a little extra money." was always - TO BE CLEAR -

"That's really not necessary. I hope the program helps you with your business."

Once again, you are making an assumption about how I view money. It's clearly more important to you than it is to me, at least with regard to the amounts we are discussing.

I'd much rather be able to just pay for the thing and then be able to EXPECT service than have a product that I rely on function intermittently with no recourse.

(I understand, and if I had a mission critical application that I felt was essential to my business and didn't have the requisite knowledge to develop it myself, I'd hire someone to do it for me. I have software installed in many locations across the country that operate (3) eight hour shifts per day, 24/7/365. They call me in the middle of the night for support, and I wake up and give it to them every time they call. I've been doing that for many years. Those customers pay a healthy price - in advance - for that level of service. Not to diminish the value of $50 or to be snobby, but fifty bucks isn't going to go far for that type of support.)

I don't remember us exchanging a lot of emails in an attempt to solve my issues. I remember reporting them to you, you emailing me back to say that you don't know why it wasn't working, that all your tests worked out just fine and then I went on with my life, using the program as it was. There were a few emails, yes, but not tons.

(There were over two dozen emails exchanged between us since March of this year. Check your "My Customers" page. In addition, many of them were quite lengthy. The following is an example of an email I responded to after you mailed me with an issue:

Hey,

That's disappointing. Without seeing everything in action, it's hard to say why you got that result. The one thing that's always been difficult for me when trying to help users who are experiencing problems on a local installation is my inability to recreate the problem. I will never say that any software I write is completely bullet-proof - it's a statement that no one can make. With the old Call Manager, I had a user that never could get the application to function properly on her system - in Auto-Mode, it hung her computer. She granted me access, and I tried for many hours to resolve the issue, but I never could. To the best of my knowledge, there were no other users with a similar complaint. I can't go into a a lot of detail, but there was a scenario where The Call Manager would not return the correct balance or the correct number of unread mail (it never displayed no values as you are reporting, however). I was able to duplicate that problem eventually and I made provisions in The Call Manager for that issue.

If you continue to experience erratic behavior, I would either suggest that you try the hosted version to see if you have better results or, if you feel The Call Manager might in any way jeopordize your business, not use it at all.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Just because The Call Manager is free doesn't mean that I haven't done all I can to make sure the program works properly. Before this release, I ran more extensive testing than I ever have - more than when I was selling the program, in fact. Because of the dependencies involved (an account must be on a call with other accounts standing by), the one thing that's very hard to run a huge battery of tests against is Auto-Mode. Still, the same function that logs users out manually is the function that logs users out when they exit Auto-Mode.

Was the account that didn't get logged out the last account in your list? If not, is it possible that it's the last account you entered when setting up your accounts? I only ask because there are some circumstances where the application will simply time out if it isn't receiving a response or if there is another application that's interfering with it. I've only heard it mentioned by one other speaker (the timing out issue), so I'm not sure what causes it. The sign-in/sign-out process should be very swift - one account per second would be a little below average.

Thanks,

Lee

(That was at the beginning of April. Because I said in the email, "I would either suggest that you try the hosted version to see if you have better results or, if you feel The Call Manager might in any way jeopordize your business, not use it at all.", it prompted me to look for the date you sent the $50.

I have no record of you ever sending me any money. Maybe you can tell me when and where you sent it? Did I refund $50 to you based on your word when, in fact, you never sent any money at all? I'm not saying you didn't, but I am saying I can't see that you've ever spent a nickle with me. If you can't show me that you've sent the $50 you claim to have sent, please send my money back to me.)

Everything I said on the forum was correct. The auto feature never worked for me and the balance totals stopped working for me a long time before they stopped working for everyone else. I emailed you when that happened as well. I also couldn't add or delete accounts without uninstalling and reinstalling the program. I got no response to my last few emails. *shrug* Notice that I didn't even mention that part. As to the point about you spending countless hours helping people, etc. I don't know why you do that. You keep pointing it out like it's going to make a huge difference and to everyone and I'm sorry, but it doesn't to me. That's your choice. Maybe you should ask yourself why you're doing that? I mean, why would you stay on the phone with people for HOURS? I think it must be because you want some kind of recognition for the help you offer, which means that you have an ulterior motive for it. I pay for services, designs, scripts, etc. and I charge for services I render too. If you really did it just because you were trying to help people, you wouldn't keep making references to it.

(My time expenditure gets referenced when you take the position that you have some kind of entitlement that you never earned and for which you never paid. Why would I stay on the phone for hours or invest my time to help others? Maybe you should be asking why you don't do more of it yourself instead of checking down someone that's trying to improve the quality of life for other people. Yes, I stop and help people who have flat tires, too. I'm no boyscout, but giving can be just as rewarding as getting. I hope you experience that feeling someday.)

As to everyone having a right to their opinion, I don't believe that anything I said was particularly damaging to you and it was 100% truth. I certainly don't think that what I said should have prompted you to email me personally about it?

(What you think may be damaging is unimportant to me. What I perceive as damaging is what matters, and you continuing to pound home the fact that you gave me $50 (which is now in dispute) without getting something in return - as you did in your now-deleted post - I perceive as damaging. Attempting to illustrate my sincerity regarding this project by reminding you that I have a significant investment in it was lost on you. I guess you can't relate. That's unfortunate, because it says more about you than it does about me.

My personal email to you was neither hateful nor confrontational. It's at the top of this page - maybe you should re-read it.)

As for your public rant, I stand by my opinion of that too. Especially considering that their comments couldn't possibly damage your bottom line since you do all of this for free, it should have been fairly easy to ignore their comments. You can't please everyone all the time and responding to things like that just gives the entire situation more drama instead of helping to get rid of it.

(Yes, their comments CAN damage my bottom line, and that's why I replied. Because you don't understand why that's true doesn't matter to me. The damage their comments may have potentially had to my bottom line will become apparent in time.

I don't do everything for free, but I have worked on the Call Manager for 'free'.

When I refunded your money, I included this note:

Here's your $50. You know, you're right: I'm going to ditch The Call Manager and I'm citing the reasons you spelled out in your email as the deciding factors for my decision. I feel for you and anyone else that believes that because someone isn't monetizing their time must mean there's an ulterior motive behind their actions. I saw the account and call management issues as an interesting problem to attempt to solve. If I've been fortunate enough to acquire the skills to try and tackle the problem and I if I think solving the problem is satisfying in and of itself and you don't understand that, we're surfing different parts of the curve. If someone as bright as you doesn't get that, I have no chance of making others understand it. If you choose to join the fray after this point, I'll do what I think is necessary to protect my reputation. I wish the best to you, and I hope you get everything you think is important for you and yours. Lee)

Your response:

I don't really care what your motives were for doing it. Though clearly you just explained to me that your ulterior motive was your own personal creative challenge. You said you didn't have one and then you told me what it was! It doesn't change the fact that as someone who's running my business on Niteflirt, I NEED a program like the call manager to run my business effectively and I need it to function properly. You getting your creative jollies by doing it and then not really caring when it breaks down because it was all just a lark for you anyway doesn't help anyone.
So fine, quit then. Maybe we'll all be better off for it because someone who actually CARES (because there's money motivating them, which is fine with me) will step in and provide us with what we need.

And finally my last exchange with you:

(Accepting a creative challenge as a personal motivation is not an "ulterior motive". I said from the beginning that if I couldn't keep up with NF's changes that I would have to quit working on the project. They are not yet stable, and my app can't be stable until their platform is stable.

Regarding what you need to run your business, could I have been any more accomodating to you? That it didn't work exactly as you would have liked is unfortunate, but there are smarter people than me working for huge companies that develop software and they can't get their apps to work on every computer. Seriously, if Microsoft and their billions of dollars can't make their products work on 100% of  installations, what makes you think I can? I can - and have - tried to help anyone that asked for help. I did my best. If that wasn't good enough for you, I can't make that my problem.

For every person that had a problem with the Call Manager there were two dozen that didn't. Maybe not the greatest percentage, but those people had plus income because of The Call Manager. I'm not asking - and never have - anything from them. Whether you have the capacity to understand it or not, knowing that someone benefited by some measure from the Call Manager is good enough for me. You and you alone are the reason I'm ditching the Call Manager. The dozens of wonderful and inspiring emails I've received over the last 24 hours are not enough to overcome the bitterness you're dishing out. I just don't need the hassle. Besides, I have other things in mind that will benefit a greater number of speakers (hopefully you as well). It will be monetized, but you can also be certain that my 'motives' will be clear.

I'm sure your business got along fine without my little program before it came along. You've been at this a long time, and the Call Manager has only been around a couple of years. Do whatever it is you did before you tried to use my app. As far as me 'not caring', you know better, so I won't address that comment other than to say that I have the dozens of emails that I sent in the middle of the night while working on the Call Manager so that it would be functional when speakers started work the next day.

I hope someone comes along and provides a solution for you. Apparently I never did, so it shouldn't matter to you whether I continue with the project or not. You have your money back, so no sweat off your back.

Lee)

Whether I decide to proceed with The Call Manager at this point shouldn't concern you. I think you made a comment that said (and I paraphrase):

"I don't care if he released the program and it was 100% perfect, I'd PASS on it. He's a jerk."

I'll make sure you keep your word.

Best to all ~ Lee

An additional comment:

The definition of 'ulterior motive' from Encarta: "a second and underlying motive, usually a selfish or dishonorable one."

A quote for all of us to remember: "If you do good, people will accuse you of ulterior motives. Do good anyway."